100 Ways to Kill a Doctor: Homeostasis
by JLynnB
Summary: Change is never fine. Or is it?


Rules:

1\. Sheldon/Penny - They can be platonic, romantic, smutty, Super Heroes/Villains, etc.

2\. Leonard/Amy's death MAY occur anytime from the Pilot thru Season 9.

3\. The death must be completed in a single chapter, although you are welcome to contribute as many different forms of death as you like as long as they are a chapter each.

4\. The story must be no more than 1,500 words long.

5\. Deadline is October 31, 2015.

...

For Idle Miscreant, fellow Nostalgic and defender of Vintage Sheldon

xTBBTx

"Penny. Penny. Penny."

Penny opened the apartment door to find Sheldon standing there with a tray in hand.

"For you and Leonard," he said. "A latte for you, coffee for Leonard, bagels and cream cheese."

"Thanks sweetie," she said as she took the tray. "Want to come in?"

"I couldn't. After all, you and Leonard are married now and you should have your time together."

Penny smiled and closed the door.

About a half hour after breakfast she didn't feel well and asked Leonard to get some Pepto since she was out. He didn't want Sheldon to freak out about Penny's germs so he decided to go to the store. He got into his car and turned the ignition.

The explosion could be heard for blocks.

 _It really wasn't much trouble at all. Leonard parked his car in the exact same spot at 2311 North Los Robles so it was easy to find it and make some alterations._

XXX

Given the extent of the fire damage it was a closed casket funeral. The gang was there, Penny looking particularly unwell given that she was still under the weather. Sheldon was positively heartbroken and Amy did her best to console him. Bernadette, Howard and Raj extended their condolences to Beverly, puzzling the neuroscientist as it wasn't her funeral.

XXX

Bernadette went to the refrigeration unit and took out her Petrie dishes In the isolation lab at her workplace. She still couldn't believe what had happened to Leonard. The police had come to her place to talk to Howard about it.

She uncapped the dishes and almost immediately began coughing. In horror she realized that one of the dishes had loose white powder in it instead of gel. The fire alarm went off as she went to the door only to find it locked. Her blistering skin left blood marks on the door as she pounded at it...

 _Given the availability of quick-acting toxins, they really should do more to limit access to the labs. It's not that I had a personal grudge against Bernadette but she was an agent of change and I didn't like that._

XXX

At the funeral home Howard was comforted by Raj, the best friends united by grief and frequent hugs and flashes of hand-holding. Sheldon did his best to comfort Amy as Penny was too sick to attend. Besides Bernadette's death, Amy also had to contend with questions from the police given her access to a laboratory.

XXX

Amy was exhausted. After work she and Sheldon had gone to the hospital with Penny as Penny's fever had worsened.

Amy got home, undressed and jumped into the shower. She thought about all the time she was spending with Sheldon. Perhaps he was ready for a reconciliation—on her terms, of course.

The power went out and, cursing, Amy stepped out of the tub and dried herself before venturing towards the kitchen where she kept her candles and matches. As she neared the refrigerator her bare feet suddenly encountered water. Surmising that her refrigerator was leaking, Amy opened the door to check the source of the water.

That's when the power came on and Amy found herself rooted to the floor, unable to release the handle...

 _With the short caused by Amy's electrocution the lights in the building went out so it was an easy exit out a back stairwell. It's a good thing Amy lived on the third floor. Then again, I'm used to climbing stairs._

XXX

It was another closed casket. The emergency responders had to break Amy's crisp fingers in order to release her grip on the refrigerator handle. Sheldon was inconsolable despite Howard and Raj's best efforts. Penny was still in the hospital but was improving so her release was imminent.

After the funeral, Howard and Raj took Sheldon home. They stayed with him to midnight and waited until Sheldon was in bed before leaving.

An hour went by and still Sheldon couldn't sleep. He got up, put on his bathrobe and slippers, and went into the kitchen to get himself a mug of warm milk. He prepared it and took a sip. The milk had a bit of an odd taste but he chalked that up to having recently brushed his teeth. Sheldon took another sip and then gasped. He dropped the mug on the kitchen floor, milk and mug shards went everywhere. Sheldon staggered to the couch holding his stomach. The phone was almost in reach...

 _That's the thing about Sheldon Cooper. He's a creature of habit and when he can't sleep it's warm milk. Only in this case it was warm milk and cyanide._

XXX

Penny huffed and puffed as she came up the stairs to her floor. She was released from the hospital and just wanted to get home and be with her friends.

She knocked at 4A. No answer.

An icy feel came to her as she tried the door. Finding it unlocked, she entered the apartment.

"Sheldon?" She spotted the smashed mug on the kitchen floor. "Sheldon?!"

"I heard you the first time," Sheldon said as he came down the hall in his housecoat and slippers carrying a mop and bucket. "I see you're out of the hospital."

"Yeah. What happened?"

"I dropped a mug." He sopped up the milk with the mop. "Given the series of unfortunate events I've given us some thought and I think it's best if Howard and Raj dine with us for the next few weeks. Homeostasis and all that."

"I'd like that."

"There's a schedule for our activities on the coffee table." Sheldon disposed of the mug shards with rubber gloves.

"Thanks," Penny chuckled. She took it and went to the door.

"Penny?"

She turned and green eyes met blue. A brilliant blue she hadn't seen in years. Fierce. Penetrating. Alive.

"I'm glad you're feeling better." Sheldon gave an awkward smile.

Penny smiled back and left.

 _As days went by and Penny wasn't feeling better I was worried I had tampered too much with her latte but fortunately she'd remained sick enough to have a solid alibi. As for me? Sheldon had already been to the precinct to give statements after each death. It was obvious to the detectives that he couldn't tell a lie and so he was exonerated._

 _Besides our looks, eidetic memory and obsessive-compulsive disorder, an inability to lie is another thing we have in common._

 _After all, we are twins._

 _It had taken time but I knew this day would come—the day when I would return home to my Spot and my comic book collection and Penny, my only true friend. She was the only one who came to console me after Leonard had sabotaged my experiment in the Arctic. I'd never felt more helpless, humiliated or despondent. When I went home to Texas I told everything to Meemaw and Mother and they agreed with me that I had to return to the Arctic and resume my experiment._

 _Lee, my twin, agreed to assume my identity. We'd interchanged our roles our whole lives, the two of us, Sheldon and Lee, becoming Sheldon Lee Cooper._

 _When mother gave birth at home, she had Missy, Lee and me. While identical to Lee, I was more sickly, therefore Meemaw took me in. No one else was told of our twin existence. Not my father, Missy or George. Mother said God told her to do this, that Lee and I were God's Special Little People and were linked together to fulfill a destiny._

 _Lee and I thought Mother was absolutely insane but soon came to realize the benefit of the two of us being one person. We took turns going to primary school or football games while the other studied advanced physics. We looked out for each other and our interests._

 _So when Leonard, Howard and Raj came to collect Sheldon Cooper in Texas, Lee went with them._

 _At first everything went according to plan. My work progressed in the Arctic and 'Sheldon Cooper' continued to reside at Los Robles. Lee would let me know about my friends and 'my' work at the university._

 _And then she came into his life. Amy Farrah Fowler._

 _I tried to warn Lee that she was using behavioral conditioning to distract him but he was weak and succumbed to this vixen. He spent most of his free time with her, leaving my beloved Penny to Leonard's nefarious clutches. This didn't please me. Nor did the distraction of Lee's relationship with Amy, as he'd let my research fall to the wayside to the point that Kripke bested and chased 'me' from String Theory into a professorship._

 _That was unforgiveable._

Sheldon cleaned his hands before venturing over to apartment 4B.

Knock Knock Knock "Penny?"

Knock Knock Knock "Penny?"

Knock Knock Knock "Penny?"

She opened the door. "Hey."

"You've been sick and no one's sung you Soft Kitty," he said. "I'd like to rectify that."

Penny grinned and let him in.


End file.
